Anniversary

The second anniversary of Casey's death was July 17th. Like last year, friends and family, about 35 of us, performed service at a No-Kill animal shelter in Casey's memory. It was a very good day when I stayed focused on what we were doing. Later that night I had one of the worst nights I have had in months-questioning why I am doing all of these things in Casey's memory, surrounding myself with young people who are leading lives that Casey should be leading and constantly reminding me of what Casey is missing. Of course I do it to remember Casey, to have her life make a difference, and to help me have some focus and direction which otherwise might be difficult. I have no choice but to continue, as painful as it is at times. The alternative is not an option. So how am I doing after the second anniversary of Casey's death? Half of my family's future was wiped away with Casey's death in a manner of speaking so I just look at today, if I can. Am I better? Am I worse than I was before? Am I less angry? Am I less in pain?

For the most part I am and feel so empty and tired.