Purposefully Busy and Distracted

I am lawyering-continuing to represent the families of those who have been killed, or people who have been injured-doing grief counseling at a hospice as part of my internship-and working on getting distracted driving presentations to more than 500 high schools across the country as part of National Distracted Driving Awareness Month in April.I am so very busy and I know it is purposeful-I still can't look too far ahead into a future without Casey. I can, but I don't and if I do it feels so hopeless, so empty and still so raw and unfair. I am doing better of course and I am thankful for that but at times it seems like everything I do is just to occupy my time and to distract me from the enormity of losing Casey. At times I am very uncomfortable with my reinvestment into life, my moving forward and getting on with life. A life without Casey and the memories of Casey and missing Casey until I die or lose my mind and memory. It is Casey who should be meeting new challenges, meeting new people, positively impacting others. It is not fair that I am doing all of this, and much of what I do is because Casey is dead. I wonder at times do I do it for Casey or do I do it for me and what are my motives?

Distracted Driving

Seeing Casey's face on the Cover of the Newspaper

The DOT Video has taken off more than I could have imagined. I was interviewed for the local County paper and knew there would be a story. I walked into the convenience store and headed to the paper display racks. Then I saw Casey’s face on the front cover- three or four papers across with her sweet smile and face. I was in shock and numb as I paid for the papers. By the time I got to my car I broke down and just sat in the parking lot and cried as I have not done for several months. I became angry at the driver and then just sad and empty. I sat in my car watching people pulling into the parking lot for about twenty minutes before I could drive. Many were on hand-held cell phones, and some of those were smoking cigarettes at the same time. In several of the cars there were kids in the front seat with their parent driving and talking on the cell phone and in one case eating something and talking on the hand held cell. I presume that each driver is a good person, is loved by their friends and family ,and loves their family and friends. I know they are just like the driver that killed Casey, the drivers that killed all the others who were too young to die .They all never thought that they would be in an accident and that it was just “bad” people or really unlucky people who kill or maim while driving.

Related Links:
Faces of Distracted Driving Casey Video

Let's not write any new pedestrian death stories

The grief I suffered and my family suffered after Casey's death is something that is being used to try to get drivers to be safer, to try to focus drivers on what can happen with a moment's distraction. There is also the other side-imagine you are the driver who, through distracted driving, was responsible for killing someone's child. How would that feel for the rest of your life? At the New Jersey press conferences I wanted to point out that there were two sides to the story of every pedestrian fatality. No one wants to be on either side of that story and it can happen to all of us whenever we drive.

I pray that no new pedetrian death stories will be written for both sides.

More information can be found at http://walkbikejersey.blogspot.com/2010/04/no-fooling-motorists-must-stop-and-stay.html