Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Long car rides
Today I had a 2 hour drive to Scranton, PA. I start thinking, thinking of Casey and there are no distractions as I sit in the car and drive. I am captive to my own emotions and there is no escaping them. Still after 3 years it is hard to drive long distances alone.We had driven that route so many times as a family -going to see my parents, Casey's grandparents. Seeing if she could hold her breath as we went through the tunnel on the Turnpike, wanting to stop at the rest stops, acting silly and goofy and wanting to get fireworks in Matamoras, or stopping at the flea market at the Monticello Racetrack for bargains with her mother. All those memories come and I am flooded with emotions and alone in the car and no one to talk to. Sometimes I hate long car rides.
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Three years is not very long after losing a child. I read "When the Bough Breaks - Forever After The Death of a Son or Daughter" by Judith R. Bernstein. She interviewed parents post five years and more. Be kind to yourself. You're recovering from a tragic loss and it will take you your lifetime.
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